Gratitude comes in self-promotional packages
Nikki Glaser couldn’t be more thrilled. After publicly defending Jennifer Lopez from her online haters, the comedian recently received a gift from J.Lo herself. “Maybe someone knows that I love her,” Glaser gleefully announced in a TikTok.
That wasn’t always the case. Glaser told The Zach Sang Show earlier this summer that she used to dismiss Lopez with an attitude of, “This is so phony. What is this? I’m over it.” The reason, Glaser confessed, was jealousy. But the documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told turned her around. “I watched it to feed my feeling that I already had about her, but it dismantled it. Now I am so Team J.Lo.”
Before her about-face, Glaser had even planned to do a bit about Lopez in her last special “about how we shouldn’t trust anything she sells us because she’s so hot,” she confessed. “Like she wants us to be ugly so don’t use her skin care because she’s trying to Mean Girls us. She’s giving us foot cream because it behooves her that we stay ugly.”
Instead, Glaser decided, she was the one being the Mean Girl and took out the bit. Credit The Greatest Love Story Never Told for changing her mind: “This is just a person who has worked through a lot of trauma that they went through as a kid.”
Even more surprising than Glaser’s turnaround is the fact that Lopez listens to The Zach Sang Show. That’s the only explanation for a box Glaser received several weeks later. The comedian opened the package to find Jennifer Lopez-brand foot cream, the kind Glaser almost ridiculed on her last special. (Imagine the hours J.Lo must have spent shopping for such a thoughtful gift. I mean, it’s not like she had a few hundred free samples of her own product lying around.)
But Jennifer Lopez regifting Jennifer Lopez products didn’t bother Glaser in the least. She was especially touched by J.Lo’s accompanying note: “I heard your interview. I know it’s easy to go along with the crowd, and I appreciate you speaking your truth. I respect your strength and humor. Here’s a little something for your feet.”
A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR GLASER’S FEET! No wonder the comic was so over the moon. “I will love you forever, and not just because of this,” she gushed in her TikTok. “This is just like a testament to how cool you are. I love you. You’re awesome. Thank you so much.”
Good for you, Nikki Glaser, except you should consider the possibility that Lopez actually is trying to Mean Girls you. Be careful where you apply that foot cream — it’s just what the hot people want you to do.
